NEW YORK (AYP)—NBC is hoping to go where no YouTuber has gone before. Shocking footage from Virginia Tech killer Seung-Hui Cho’s own camera went on the air, and now NBC hopes to capitalize on more murder-related stories. “We think mass murder has really upped our ratings,” said NBC spokesperson Catherine Hayes. “If possible, we’d like to turn it into a reality series. It’s more than just the news these days. Mass murder grabs people’s interests for hours upon hours.” NBC has created a special “Murder Hotline” for anyone with murder on their mind to send in their videotapes. They prefer a “lead time” of 24 hours before the murder is committed, but “if the murderer can’t wait, then go ahead, just send in the tapes and we’ll scramble to figure something out,” said Ms. Hayes. MSNBC, the cable arm of the NBC news network, has already begun changing to a 24 hours all-mass-murder-all-the-time news station. “We began digging up everything in our archives, from the Charles Manson murders to Columbine to Jeffrey Dahmer,” said MSNBC spokesman Jonathan Hayes, no relation to Catherine. “We think we can do 24 hours on murder, no problem. And with all the new footage we could potentially get from would-be murderers, it’ll be no time before we get in front of Fox and CNN in terms of ratings.” NBC received a package from the Virginia Tech killer, who mailed it using overnight delivery during a break in his killing spree. “That was ideal timing, actually,” said Ms. Hayes about the package. “If he had used the correct zip code, it would’ve gotten to us the very next day. Preferably, some murderers should think about using a messenger. But if the distance is too far, then yes, please overnight it to us.” Ms. Hayes said the correct address is: NBC News, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, N.Y. 10112. The phone number is (212) 664-4249. Sources say several TV shows on NBC are also introducing the mass murder theme. Dateline NBC has a pedophilia outing segment and will now incorporate mass murder into the show. The NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams has already begun shooting, er, uh, videotaping a new intro and promo for his show, featuring different clips of would-be shooters. And the Today Show will now feature weather man Al Roker pointing out all the potential hot spots for the next mass murder. Ann Curry will tour the country and report live from all of these potential hot spots. |
